Sexual Reboot Forum › Learning to heal
This topic contains 8 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Sid 6 years ago.
June 18, 2014 at 8:44 pm #105907
What if our adrenal fatigue/Hypothyroidism/SE, etc, etc… comes all from lack of rest. I don’t mean just sleeping well, I mean STOP WORRYING ALL THE TIME ABOUT IT. If your life is all about “healing” then you got a serious problem, since the healing becomes your problem. If your mind is always occupied in this “healing”, then won’t that just make you worry and more paranoid about it? When did we forget to simply enjoy life? Be distracted, spontaneous. This is kind of corny, but isn’t laugh the best medicine?
I don’t mean for you to go out get wasted everyday, masturbate everyday, but just find your very own personal balance, since we all have a different one. Let’s say we find ourselves with problem A, and so we search constantly for B, and hence we fluctuate all the time through A and B, never finding an equilibrium.
Healing isn’t just about diet, not masturbating, supplements, etc… Healing starts in your emotional level, your mind and body. Healing is everything, healing is moving from sadness to happiness, loneliness to sharing life, pain to joy, physical and mental… so if we find ourselves eating “healthy”, not masturbating, quitting smokes, consuming supplements, WTF KIND OF HEALING IS THAT? Where is the happiness in that?
What kind of bullshit is it to wait a LIFETIME so you can say “Ok I’m healed, let’s start living life now I guess”. It doesn’t work like that I think, there are a million roads to heal, we can all take different routes, but they all end in the same place, balance.
For example, if I have adrenal fatigue, and hence mind and body are connected, how am I supposed to let my adrenals rest if I keep researching and worrying all the time? If healing takes over your life in a shit kind of way, then you have a problem.
Hopes this make some senseThere is another way that you can stop porn addiction, chronic masturbation and recover your sexual health without fighting it with willpower. With the right mindset you won't even relapse. You can learn more about the recovery program hereJune 18, 2014 at 10:49 pm #105933
You have a pretty good point with that speech.
The real fact is this. When I forget COMPLETELY my “obsession” and just have good time with friends, family, or videogames or just LIFE, I feel great, free from a heavy weight.
BUT, here comes the BUT, even by that time I still having ED and really low libido. Even by that time my penis still shrunk from what it was.My optimistic state doesnt do SHIT with these problems. It just kill some of the psychological symptoms of SE. But the truth is that I cant just go and laugh and be spontaneous knowing that I dont have libido, that I dont care as my pals do about tits in the tv or girlfriends. What I will be, some sort of happy eunuch? I cant afford to have such an image of myself.
I know that this obsession is harmful. But I cant life without sexual desire,with insomnia and more shit related to testosterone,prolactine,cortisol or tyroid. I know that indeed it seems like I cant handle life, and maybe thats true, but SE is not an excuse, it is just something unfair that makes impossible handling life in a city,in the modern society, which is hard being normal, but with this is is just too frustrating and humiliating for me.
So, until I discover WHY I feel so anhedonic,why I dont have orgasms since years, why I dont have almost any libido, until I discover how the F*ck I can solve my problem with low free testosterone and maybe more, I will continue being a obsessed person, but I guess that some day my obsession will decrease to something more reasonable.
Thats my opinion about it.June 19, 2014 at 4:41 am #105999
i think it makes sense.
nevertheless we need to take care of our selves in the manner of solving this problem, with out obsession.June 19, 2014 at 7:14 am #106049
I know exactly what you are talking about, “I can’t live having X problem, where is the dignity in that?”. Your mind is a powerful tool man, hence your obsession and “healing” will only sink you deeper. Let’s say I like basketball, and I keep shooting bricks and playing like shit, so I get embarassed all the time, so I avoid the game itself for the rest of my life, and trying to find a “cure” so I can play better, the irony of it is, that I search for cures OUTSIDE THE GAME, thinking that I’ll “fix” myself through research or some other method, but at the same time avoiding basketball.
There is only one way, it is a hard one, but it is a direct one. Find yourself a loving girl that comprehends your problem, get embarassed, feel awkward, feel ridiculous, ashamed, maybe that’s exactly what people need… To overcome that phsychological barrier, since it’s always mind over matter.
I used to have SE, F*ck I still do when I’m nervous, but when I get pass that barrier with a girl, I never get SE anymore. Your mind will F*ck you up if you are having sex with a girl for the first time and you feel nervousness, weird, etc… hell that’s a battle already lost. But if you get to a point you forget yourself and everything and you feel so HORNY about her, and only HER, and you want her so much, then it’s job well done…
It’s all about emotions I think, fear of rejection, fear of women, fear…
…or maybe anger, maybe shame, who knows, but concentrating on the physical aspect too much, diet, etc… won’t get you nowhere. To overcome the emotional barriers you need to face the fears, shame, etc…
I know it’s easy to say, but sometimes with the right girl it can be…
Best of luck.June 19, 2014 at 3:19 pm #106166
Thank you a lot for your common sense, felz, it was needed here. I will try to influence my behaviour and thoughts with your words in the future. But in the mean time, I will continue taking a lot of supps and also tests, because for example my prostate pain isnt a mental issue,thats obvious. What you say about trying to fix the basketball problem without playing to basketball is not exactly as you say. I really dont need to F*ck with a girl to know that I am really low in sexual energy. For example, I dont have morning wood right? with that symptom you can see for sure if your hormones etc are allright or not. Hell,just knowing that it has been years since I didnt get a full typical youngster erection I realise that it cant be just psychological.
Of course that I want to meet a good girl, but not soon. I dont feel like falling in love or having a relationship involving sex for a while. It is something complex. I cant just begin something with a girl in my city and later get the shame of all people knowing what happened,because most of the young people around here are pretty inmature and you can expect a lot of talking and shit. On the other hand, I am becoming paranoid of my friends and realitives wondering why I dont have sexual relationships. Also, most of time I dont desire any girl. With this fucking curse of overmasturbation even I ended up thinking one day that maybe I was gay. Soon I realised how far from homosexuality I am lol but you get the type. porn and over-ejaculation are both harmful, and they mix well when it comes to F*ck you up for good.
Anyway, right now I am having some weird feeling in the penis/prostate/coccyx, so thats maybe why I sound so negative hahaha.June 19, 2014 at 11:34 pm #106341
And btw sargonnas, I don’t mean for people to simply ignore the fact they have an issue and simply live life, what I mean is to embrace this “healing” as an actual healthy lifestyle, both mind, body and emotions. The answers we search for all the time, are not always in the intellectual mind, meaning, searching for hormone imbalances, or this or that… The answer lies in EVERYTHING, since life is a big web of things, and everything is connected, so to be able to feel healthy once again, we need to find a balance to everything we do, everything we think, to appraoch the healing as a complete lifestyle, not as a separate healing aspect. I don’t know if I make sense, since I’m also contradicting myself. “Don’t let healing take over your life”, and then I go and say “Healing is everything”, so what I really mean is… maybe we need to completely make sacrifices in our lives, yes that mean buying supplements, diet, decent masturbating habits, retreat from isolation, seach your own feelings, GOOD SLEEP HABITS, etc etc etc
But don’t let it get out of control, remember, you are searching for light here, not darkness and fear. So if you spend hours researching and trying new stuff, well that’s IMBALANCE right there, that’s imbalance in your behaviour and mind, then your healing becomes obsession.
I think it’s all about willing to make some sacrifices, willing to understand yourself and control yourself, willing to EXPLORE LIFE, willing to change EVERYTHING except our own nature and essence, we all express in different ways, sometimes when people get depressed they drink a lot, others masturbate a lot, but sometimes when people feel in sync they whistle or play video games, build castles, whatever. So we need our very own balance, to change EXTREME habits, and to NEVER change our essence, learning to bring the best of us instead of self destruction.
I know it’s hard since dignity has been so damaged, but you need hope in this world… the best doctor you can find is yourself. Start by questioning your NEGATIVE toughts, your destructive toughts, those are a million times worse than hormone imbalances. The mind is a tricky bitch, sometimes you will be so obsessed about something… that the more you want it, the more it runs away from you.
And remember, the body can heal, but you need to allow it to.
First of all, SLEEP WELL for God’s sake. The body has inner cycles just like the Earth, trust me, it’s better to sleep early and get up early, it won’t do miracles in a few days, but in a month it WILL DO. Hell inside our bodies there is an entire universe, millions of bacteria and cells and other stuff. Years and years of insomnia, destructive thinking, over masturbation, etc will mess it up. There is nothing wrong with masturbation, it’s just OVER masturbation that’s wrong, just like everything in life. Supplements won’t heal your destructive thoughts, so search for the “light”, stay away from the “dark”. Isn’t insomnia just the opposite? Find a balance to EVERYTHING.
Lol, just my 2 centsJune 20, 2014 at 1:56 am #106355
Yep, maybe your lack of sexual energy means something, but it’s only a symptom of something bigger. You are not ready to engage with a girl… yet. Might take months, years, who knows, first you need to understand it is only an EFFECT of a bigger CAUSE. Sometimes it’s hard to understand oneself, and we express in weird ways, so we get even more confused. Don’t focus on the symptom, focus on the big picture. We are young and have our entire life ahead of us, and life has many crisis, so it’s important to stay calm, don’t be too destructive, don’t be too euphoric, balance. It’s the key to overcome it…
hope this helpsJune 20, 2014 at 9:53 am #106432
I just wanted to state that being a poor fucker with insomnia for years makes me legit to say that what you say about sleeping well is true.
It is indeed, sometimes a thing that obsesses me more than my libido, because if I have ever said that a man cannot live with a functional penis, a man sure CANT live without sleeping well, it leads into mental problems, believe me, in a 50% percent of the people with mental problems insomnia is something common, I am not just saying a false statistics, I read it somewhere…June 20, 2014 at 5:06 pm #106545
Yeah, it’s involved with light from the sun. The body needs it, and ideally you should be sleeping around 10pm, but it’s too much for me, 12am is a decent hour for me to sleep.
You can’t control your sleep at night, since it’s impossible to command yourself to sleep. But you can control your waking up time, so then at night you DO feel tired. Though the first week you’d feel like trash for lack of sleep. But then again it’s worth it.
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