Sexual Reboot Forum › My brothers, suicidal thoughts creeping in
February 12, 2015 at 6:55 pm #127232
I don’t want to make this longer than it needs to be, because frankly the more time I spend on this website, the more depressed I become. But I could really use some insight or information from those of you who seem quite knowledgeable.
I’m 24 years old. My case is quite severe. From the ages of 12-23 I was a compulsive masturbator. I started losing my erection power around the age of 15-16. Morning wood started disappearing around the same time.
At the age of 18, when I started using marijuana daily, I noticed I was sweating and urinating much more than normal. I was such a stoner until the age of 23 (don’t smoke anymore) that I didn’t even realize the harm I was causing myself, although I suspected it.
I’m now trying to correct my body but I need serious help in understanding this all.
My symptoms to date include the following…
-absence of morning wood, though every once in a blue moon I get a weak one
-eye floaters/light sensitivity
-poor concentration/memory/cognitive function
-penile shrinkage/slight testicular shrinkage
-thinner hair, though it still looks normal, with grays starting to emerge
-some penile bending
Aside from my belly fat that I would assume is from my Low T and high stress hormone ratio, and obviously the sexual dysfunctions, I’m healthy otherwise. I have a naturally muscular build, and am still very physically strong although I haven’t lifted any weights in close to 9 months now. I should also note that although weak, I can still get erections looking at girls, and when I do a little self stimulation, I can get a near full erection… I’d say about 70-80% where I’d like to be. You know, the normal erection where it sticks straight out/curves slightly upwards.
I’ve crept around this site for a while, and obviously I’ve looked for all the information I could get from Dr. Richards, Dr. Lin, and Herballove. But I just don’t know what to do. There is SO much information that goes with this that I can’t retain it all or even dissect certain pieces and figure them out.
Last month, after no luck with many doctors, I came upon a urologist who understood my problem…somewhat. She then sent me to a physical therapist who seemed to understand my issue a bit more. The physical therapy is supposed to be for loosening my pelvic floor muscles, which are indeed very tight, as well as shutting down the sympathetic nervous system. She was the first specialist to understand that this is primarily a dysfunction of the nervous system. My first meeting with her was just to get the through the basic preliminary questions and understand what I’m experiencing. Next week we’ll begin therapy. She says my condition is reversible and that she’s treated men with the same problem, although I have my doubts.
She understood that because my body is SO overly sensitive/sympathetic, it’s causing me to overproduce certain stress hormones, which would explain my belly fat despite my good diet.
On top of this, I’m scheduled to see a bio identical hormone doctor to get a FULL blood work analysis so I can identify where exactly the problems lie, in terms of hormones.
So brothers, my question(s) to you is which hormones are most important to check? I know that this condition of sexual exhaustion is connected throughout the entire body, starting with the nervous system, the hypothalamic-pituitary-testicular-adrenal axis, and then branching out to the liver.
So I’m at a juncture now where I have doctors who’re willing to help, but I still need some help in understanding where the connection is between all the the systems/organs, and what I need to tell the doctors, if anything, more about this issue.
I hate this so much. And I feel so much for all you other guys who’re dealing with this also. This is the worst thing, by far, I’ve ever experienced. Losing my father and best friend to suicide in the same year are nothing compared to the pain caused by this bodily dysfunction.
I’m growing very frightful, desperate, and doubtful. If I can’t get this figured out, then I have no choice but to find a way to end my life. I couldn’t do it on my own, I would eventually find someone to kill me for the right price. I am so depressed and miserable.
God bless all of you fellow sufferers out there. I wish I could meet each one of you personally and heal you back to full vitality.There is another way that you can stop porn addiction, chronic masturbation and recover your sexual health without fighting it with willpower. With the right mindset you won't even relapse. You can learn more about the recovery program hereMarch 28, 2015 at 1:19 am #127312
I’m so sorry I missed this post. It’s late so I will write a reply tomorrow, but just letting you know you’re not being ignored!April 16, 2015 at 8:43 am #127317
I have read your symptoms and made a note of your current situation:
You can achieve a full erection with manual stimulation.
You can achieve an erection by just looking at girls (though not 100% yet).
You haven’t exercised in 9 months, have some belly fat, but think this is due to your hormones.
Your pelvic muscles are tight.
Personally, I am not a great supporter of those that approach SE recovery from a purely chemical mindset (i.e. what level should such and such hormone be at). Mainly because, unless you knew your levels before you had problems, you’ll only be trying to match up to other people’s averages.
There are guys that take a ton of drugs, smoke, drink like a fish, and don’t have any ED issues. And if you checked their hormones, neurotransmitters etc, you would likely find imbalances there that could look worse than yours.
If you haven’t already, correct your behaviour and your mindset first. If that does not garner the results that you need then look into all this hormone stuff.
As it stands right now, you are much better off than many other people that suffer. You can achieve an erection, even without stimulation.
if you don’t do any exercise, you shouldn’t be surprised if you become out of shape.
You know, when someone exercises regularly, their body adapts and regulates chemicals differently. When you suddenly stop, it takes time for the body to transition back to normal.
Start exercising again!
My questions to you:
Are you still watching porn?
If so, how regularly?
How often are you masturbating?
How often to you have sex?
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