Sexual Reboot Forum › The log of a new strength
This topic contains 18 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by George 4 years, 7 months ago.
March 9, 2014 at 10:08 am #36404
This is a very long post and I have tried to include as much information so as to benefit everyone that suffers from this debilitating and frustrating condition. Not everything here directly relates to SE. The reason being is that I think we all have to look at the big picture and if we do I think we will find that SE is just one part of the equation
I have broken down my story into segments to help with the flow
I guess with anything you have to start at the beginning and that would be when I was around 12 years old and started masturbating and watching pornography (both online and the magazine variety). At the time I absolutely loved both and thought it was the best thing in the world. I would masturbate anywhere from 1-3 times a day on average, sometimes as much as 5-6 times in a day. At this age it seems you have such an abundance of energy there were no observable negative effects.
It wasn’t until I was about 14 that any of my problems began. It first began with a slight detachment from reality, somewhat of a depersonalization. Now did have a tumultuous adolescence and went from one drug to another (mostly SSRIs). I was also drinking and using marijuana at the time so this likely contributed to the problem.
THE WORSENING PHASE
This detachment feeling graduated into a dull headache feeling which progressively got worse for the next 5 years. This was a persistent headache that I was living with 24/7. I would go to bed with one and wake up with an even worse one. Every day it would get worse. Literally every day of my life felt like the worst day I had lived.
I had left high school at 16 due to failing grades and got a GED instead. I started college and found that to be a mostly positive change. It did however have the effect of destroying my social life. Since I was not trusted by my parents, and living at home, I had very little social life from age 16-21. This didn’t bother me the first few years but I would later learn how damaging this was, on many levels.
During this time I was still masturbating and watching pornography. Although at a lesser frequency I was probably averaging 3-10 times a week. I would get in trouble several times for porn, but always came back to it. As I am sure sounds familiar my taste for hard and harder pornography began (especially from 18-20). Regular sex just didn’t cut it, it had to be anal or even worse. The more bizarre it was the better. By the end of it I had accumulated several hundred gigabytes of porn from the internet. Enough that if it were watched straight would take months.
I first started having weaker erections around when I has 18. I didn’t think much of at the time, but as the weaker erections got more obvious I started looking for solutions. For about a year and a half I did kegal exercises (on and off, I would do a few months then stop, then start). This gave me great erections and so I was convinced it was a solution, despite the fact that every time I stopped the exercises my erections were weaker than when I started and it was harder to get back to the previous level. In reality kegel exercises are a long term disaster that will make your problem much worse. I believe I can attribute leaking semen and weaker erections to kegels. They will exhaust what existing strength you have. If you have weak erections it’s because your body is telling you something: don’t engage in sexual activity! Now that I am beginning to recover I have had the most powerful erections I have had in at least 5 years, perhaps ever. Heal yourself and the erections will return, don’t force it by doing exercises or taking pills.
THE BEGINNING OF THE SERACH FOR HEALING
I had somewhat of a spiritual experience when I was around 20. I had been in a lot of stress for the past five years. Stress from school, parents, my headaches (for which many doctors were baffled by. I should note for completeness that at age 17 I was diagnosed with sleep apnea for which the cure was tonsillectomy, although my sleep did not improve markedly until recently when my healing began), as well has spiritual stress. I don’t think going into the details of the spiritual aspect is all that relevant only that it marked a turning point in my life. I had resoled to never look at porn again (it took me a year to actually press the button to delete all my porn and stop looking for good though). It was also around this time I had begun to suspect that porn and masturbation might actually be a source of my problems.
I would always search the internet when ever I had these suspicions so I could find articles stating that porn, or at least masturbation, were harmless or even good for you! It is a lie. porn is a poison and masturbation is far from harmless. I had also taken a keen interest in nutrition around this time, discovering that indeed the foods you eat have an effect on your health (how novel). I had always been in decent shape and was not overweight, but began looking into supplements and foods to eat or avoid. From then to now I have gone through almost every vitamin, mineral and nutrient there is. My conclusion is that supplements can and do help, but alone are not a solution, and should be regarded as transitory in the healing process. If you are dependent on supplements you’re not really healed in my opinion. You should get all of your nutritional needs through food.
From the time I started to look for a solution to my fatigue, brain fog, headaches to now (a period of 18 months or so). I went through many ups and downs. I had started working and my stress levels returned to very high levels. I did not fully accept the idea that sexual exhaustion was behind many of my symptoms until 4 months ago. I had intuitively suspected that it was for nearly 2 years, but had been in denial. I had also spent the better part of a year searching for the magic combinations of nutrients to replenish my body with after I had ejaculated thereby allowing me to indulge as much as I pleased without having any exhaustion. The truth that I finally accepted was that I needed to reduce sexual activity.
THE BEGINNING OF HEALING
Since I have been rambling for some time let me cut to the chase (and the part you are most likely interested in). The following is a list of what I have done, especially in the past few weeks, that have seen me improve dramatically
I do both aerobic and anaerobic. I also do yoga twice a week which is of tremendous benefit. I feel great, have more energy, less stress, and look great which does wonders for your confidence and self-esteem. Getting out side and getting some sun and fresh air is also very god for you.
Diet and nutrition
You are what you eat. Cut out foods you are allergic to. I found I got congested when I ate dairy so I cut it out a year ago. I have recently been severely reducing my intake of wheat/gluten which I think has helped. Cut out or reduce sugar, caffeine, white flour, junk food, processed food, etc. Eat things that are natural, real, whole, and fresh. Drink water and avoid alcohol. Basically eat like our ancestors did thousands of years ago. I think this is huge. Perhaps the only odd thing I eat is I have been trying raw egg yolks.
Be more social
I tend to be anti-social and don’t have many friends. I have found that this is a very unhealthy way to live. You need to get out and meet people. I have to force myself, but I know it’s for my own good. I have been more social lately and I think it helps a lot, especially if you go out and talk to girls.
I had resolved never to masturbate about four months ago. This of course failed quite easily. I did manage to reduce the frequency of masturbation to about 1/week. On two occasions I went 3 weeks without masturbating and started having nocturnal emissions for the first time. The way I look at it now is that I should allow my body to ejaculate at it’s own pace, so instead of masturbating I allow myself to have nocturnal emissions which I find are more pleasurable anyway. I usually have a nocturnal emission every 7-10 days. The important thing I think is not to stress out about it. Stress is far more harmful then loss of semen.
Stress kills. Period. It is extremely bad for you. Find ways to reduce stress. I find yoga and working out helps as well as deep breathing.
Getting enough sleep is important. Going to bed at a regular time is also beneficial. Really though there isn’t much I can recommend in regards to sleep. I am just now sleeping well for the first time in the better part of the last decade. I know that it can be near impossible to improve your sleep and think that better sleep will come as a result of the other things I am mentioning; better sleep in turn will accelerate your healing.
Change The Way You View Women
I think this bears mentioning. I have found that when thinking about women if I think about them in a loving and nurturing way I do not get exhausted. If I think about them sexually then it does exhaust me (even if I am not masturbating!). Not only will this help your healing, but let’s face it guys, our objectification of women through porn and sexual overindulgence has helped get us into this mess. Fantasize about being nice to women, taking them out, having a wonderful conversation, and being affectionate with them. If you do think about sex imagine being in love with them and take your focus off the pleasure and orgasm.
I have been doing heavy metal detoxing using garlic, cilantro, and adzuki beans. Go to sites like curezone and earthclinic. I definitely have Candida which is likely caused by heavy metal overload (I have had 2 hair analysis done and they both came back with toxic levels of aluminum). I think this is a big contributor to why I have been feeling better lately. Occasionally I go to an infrared sauna which is supposed to help you sweat heavy metals and toxins out. I also swapped my toothpaste and mouthwash for fluoride-free alternatives. Maybe this has helped, maybe it was not. Ever seen the movie Dr. Strangelove where the crazy general with SE blames it on fluoride? It’s meant as a mockery of the idea in the movie, but at this point I am not ruling anything out as to why I am feeling better.
I swish oil in my mouth in the morning when I wake up and sometimes before I go to bed. The practice is called “oil pulling.” I use cold-pressed extra virgin olive oil (expeller-pressed sunflower oil didn’t do anything for me). Its not entirely clear to me how this works but at the very least the positive side effects for me have been strong, dazzling white teeth, and disappearing life-long sensitivity to hot and cold foods/liquid.
Other things I have done is I installed a shower filter and take shorter showers. At the very least this has made my very dry skin silky smooth and the red bumps on my arms lessen.
I have become less and less of a believer in supplements through my healing journey. I still do take some minerals. I take 150-450mg of molybdenum at night before going to bed. It is suppose to help with candida die off and it does make a difference. I occasionally take fish oil, selenium, and zinc. I also take magnesium when I feel like I am having a headache come on. On a side note I notice this had helped with PE. I had wondered why sometimes I lasted for 20 minutes and other times I had instant ejaculation on penetration (or sometimes even before then!). Jogging my memory I realized that times I had lasted longer I had taken magnesium shortly before hand. I haven’t had sex since I realized the correlation, but will have to try it sometime in the future. I don’t think I will need it though given my healing progress.
Keep a log
Write down how you feel, what you’ve eaten, what you’ve done. There are thousands of variables affecting how you feel everyday, jot down as many as you can. Even the ones that don’t seem relevant. You might be surprised. Go back and read them seeing if you can find correlations between how you feel and your environment. So many things I thought had no effect on how I feel are now very clear to me. Heck, I used to think masturbation was harmless and didn’t drain me of energy. Now I realize beyond a shadow of a doubt that that is not true.
WHERE I AM TODAY
I am feeling my best in a long time. My morning erections are the hardest and thickest I have had in as long as I can remember. Much more importantly though is that my cognitive functions are returning. My brain fog and memory have gotten much better. I think clearly and am more articulate. I was actually able to carry on a conversation for over an hour the other day with a girl I met. Usually I can’t string 2 sentences together with out blanking out and looking like an idiot. The last two times I masturbated my recovery was in a matter of days rather than weeks. I am sleeping like a baby for the first time this decade. I feel rested when I wake up and have energy to last me through the day. Numerous small things like the dark circles under my eyes to muscle and joint soreness to skin issues have gotten better.
I am feeling genuinely happy for the first time in years (to the point where I almost cry that I have come so far. My suffering finally is beginning to wane). I am starting to look at life as a joy instead of a burden (I have had suicidal feelings for the past 10 years or so. I never would consider acting on them but those feelings that death was desirable were always there).
I feel more social and outgoing. I actually want to meet women instead of thinking about them as a drug that makes you addicted and sick (negative feelings towards women I’m sure many of us have felt; as though our nature has betrayed us by making us lust after them). I am not completely healed and have had countless false starts over the past 2 years, but I am hopeful that I am making real gains for the first time.
Phew.. So that concludes my ridiculously long post. I will likely update it as omissions come to mind. I plan on posting additional progress, so please ask any questions as I will get back to you.There is another way that you can stop porn addiction, chronic masturbation and recover your sexual health without fighting it with willpower. With the right mindset you won't even relapse. You can learn more about the recovery program hereMarch 9, 2014 at 10:27 am #36407
nice post, great tips.
and congrats on the healingMarch 9, 2014 at 7:53 pm #36520
Excellent post and thanks for sharing it.
Would you mind expanding on the spiritual side of things? I believe something has to fill the void so I would like t hear more on that.March 9, 2014 at 9:14 pm #36538
I was raised in a religious household, but lost my faith at a very young age. The resultant vacuum had me jumping from hardcore atheism to various philosophies in search of truth. I don’t follow any religion or organized belief system, but I did find what I was looking for and had an epiphany one day. It’s difficult to articulate in words exactly my experience and subsequent understanding of myself and reality, but I would say in simplest terms that that day I understood that there is truth and meaning.
I had up until that point had great uncertainty as to whether or not truth did exist and if my existence had meaning. This is what I meant as far as “spiritual stress.” It is hard enough to struggle with life’s problems then to be unsure if the struggle is in vain or not. I would easily put that day (and my epiphany was a silent one; not some great climax) as the most important and life altering day in my life. Naturally I did not suddenly have all the answers to life or that I had no more to learn, quite the contrary as I have made many mistakes over the past couple of years.
Anyway, I hope that answers your question. I didn’t go too much into the details in the original post because it’s something that is hard to relate to another person given the deeply personal and subjective aspect.
As an update to my progress I am continuing to heal. I am now convinced that avoiding wheat/gluten is helping esp. in regard to mental clarity. The morning erections haven’t been quite as powerful, but still better than they have been. I did ejaculate on Wednesday, but to my surprise I was able to get through the day fairly well and the following day I was not exhausted either. The only supplements I took were zinc and magnesium (50mg and 400mg respectively). Yoga is also really beneficial so I would recommend you guys try it. It takes a few weeks and months to get to the point where you enjoy it, but I’m at the point where I really look forward to the classes and do some stretching and flow at home as well.
Equally important to the physical healing, I have found my social confidence is improving and I am having less nervousness approaching and talking to women.
There is defiantly hope guys. I think my biggest advice to to focus on whatever underlying health problems are causing SE. I think SE is both a symptom and an aggravator of underlying causes.March 9, 2014 at 10:07 pm #36550
newstrength, have you seen the movie Zeitgeist ?
if so i recommend itMarch 10, 2014 at 2:57 am #36601
At some point during healing, people usually start thinking porn/masturbation/excessive ejaculation is not harmful. This is because they either do not recharge yet well or their methods have kicked in so that they feel increase in energy and vitality ( and they start to consume porn once again )
So far everyone has come back to the conclusion that porn/masturbating is total wasting of ones energy, and not good for you.
I have reaches a fairly stable condition, thanks to powerful relaxing and meditation methods, but I still feel the draining effect of ejaculation and its effect on willpower. I have totally accepted it though, and try to go without ejaculation as long as I can.March 10, 2014 at 9:19 am #36710
dr. lin told me that some peopl can heal just by stop masturbating/porn and only have vaginanl sex 1-2x week,, he said by doing this you can restore erection strength in 6-12 monthsMarch 10, 2014 at 4:37 pm #36841
Yes, I definately agree. I had still felt the drain of energy, it just had not been as severe. And definately porn should be eliminated from ones life completely.
I have head of the movie and another person recommended it. I used to be very much into conspiracy theories… I think though they often give far to much credit to those in power. Evil is self-organizing just like good is. You don’t need a conspiracy for evil to occur just like you don’t need one for good to happen either.March 10, 2014 at 5:14 pm #36847
Ok what we need to look at is clinical picture.
What did this behavior do to your hormones profile.
Dealing with inner battle can be very grueling and demanding on one adrenals. Most people I see being brought up in strict religious house holds end up with blown adrenals by the time they are in late teens. When someone is there always drilling in your head you must live this way or you will goto hell or feel guilty about every thing your do is going to cause damage. Actually this kind of form of brain washing and also child manipulation. Having a belief system in ones lifes is a must because it gives hope and some direction in life, but when it is drilled into their head in an unbalanced way it can be very devasting to ones social development. People that wait for along time to have sex or told that masturbation is against god rule are ones that end up with psychological issues, and also males that do not wack off end up with prostae problems down the road because you need to clean your pipes. Again it comes down to the simple saying, “use it do not abuse it and also use it or lose it” Right now you have an automonic imbalance that needs to be corrected if you have proper insurance I would look into geting a neurotransmitter test done. If you do not have the money then a hair analysis may all be need to see that you are sympathetic domaint and where your issues lies with low minerals. i offer this if you are interested.March 10, 2014 at 5:20 pm #36849
Hi hardasnails. I had a hair analysis done in October 2007 and another one last October. Both came back with elevated Aluminum levels.
According to the second test I did the analysis that came with it listed I had signs of adrenal fatigue and “significantly slow oxidation” and basically across the board everything was considered bad :p
The minerals that were very low were sodium,potassium, chromium, and molybdenum(almost 0). Calcium was extremely elevated (over twice the top of their reference range) as well as magnesium (I was taking alot of magnesium supplements at the time).
As far as the neurotransmitter test, I did take the test (just a true/false questionnaire) in the edge effect book about 6 months ago. Dopamine dominant with major gaba deficiency and moderate acetylcholine, serotonin and dopamine deficiencies.
I should probably get another mineral analysis and take the test again, but I’m not at all interested in working with doctors or taking drugs/hormones/supplements. I find that that approach is all too similar to the approach of modern medicine where the emphasis is on treating symptoms rather than curing underlying causes.
I believe that lifestyle and nutrition are all that is required to heal ones self. I am making much gains through following a raw paleolithic-style diet and getting plenty of sunshine, fresh air, exercise, and sleep (well trying to anyway ). In fact much of my gains seem to be coming once I dumped all supplements. I don’t take anything now, I try to get everything through diet, which is definately possible if you are willing to eat some “weird” things like organ meats.March 10, 2014 at 11:43 pm #36946
I beleive that most likely you may have had celiac since you have so many low minerals. I also see that you have insulin dysregulation going on and undermethylation as well from your mineral analysis. I offer mineral analysis for 145 from ARL labs..Plus one a few labs follow traditional rules for hair analyosis. I beleive that you are right the body has a great ability to heal it self to an extent. If you are low thyroid no diet in the work is going to correct that. I agree alot of people take way to many supplements and do not get enough whole foods, but due to mineral depletion you can not get all nutrients you can in food like we used to so some supplementation is needed. My diet is pretty much like yours as well focusing on 50% saturated fats (evcco, organic butter) 30% poly (3:1 ratio of 6:3) with 20% (mono). NO diary products at all ..Moderate protein (organic eggs, chilcken, turkey, salmon) , lower carb (few peieces of ezkiel bread,yam, fruits and veggies). I put alot of peopl on this type of eating and they feel better in matter of few days ..I beleive alot of people have hidden celiac and gliaden antibodies.. Once they start eating like this then go back they get sick..
My goal is 200 grams protein 120 (minus 30 grams for finer) grams of carbs with 100-120 grams in fat.
3 TBSP EVCCO
1 TBSP hempseed butter
1 TBSP organic butter..March 11, 2014 at 8:22 am #37066
han or new strength could you post a diet outline which you describe.. i think it’s a good idea but im thinking how to vary this dailyMarch 11, 2014 at 2:36 pm #37342
Wanted to give you guys an update.
I started taking iodine supplements about 2 months ago on suspicion of low thyroid and decided to get some endocrinal testing, in retrospect I wish I would have got these tests a while ago.
Anyway I got a panel from ZRT labs. The test samples were taken 6 weeks ago except for the thyroid ones which were 3 weeks ago. Seeing how many of these are out of whack I can only imagine how much worse they were 4-6 months ago.
Estradiol (saliva) 2.1 range 0.5-2.2
Progesterone (saliva) 17 range 12-100
Testosterone (saliva) 67 range 72-148 (age dependent)
DHEAS (saliva) 18.7 range 2-23
Cortisol Morning (saliva) 7.8 range 3.7-9.5
Cortisol Noon (saliva) 4.8 range 1.2-3.0
Cortisol Evening (saliva) 1.4 range 0.6-1.9
Cortisol Night (saliva) 1.5 range 0.4-1.0
PSA (blood spot) 3.3 range 0.5-4 (optimal 0.5-2)
Free T4 (blood spot) 1.7 range 0.7-2.5
Free T3 (blood spot) 2.2 range (2.5-6.5)
TSH (blood spot) 1.5 range 0.5-3.0
TPO (blood spot) 41 range 0-150 (70-150 borderline)
The low thyroid I guess hits my suspicions, the low test/high estrogen was a bit surprising, but I guess it shouldn’t be. No surprise that my cortisol levels were whacked. DHEAS was medium high though, does that mean that my adrenals are actually ok? Any insight you guys have would be appreciated.
I also got another hair analysis about a month ago but am beginning to think that those are not as reliable. CA/mg ratio was still very elevated at 16.6/1 which has been true for all hair tests I’ve had. Mercury was high which came out of no where considering all prior tests were practically 0. Not sure if this is a good sign in that my body excreting the mercury while previously it was not or if I’ve gotten it somehow.. At any rate I’ve attached the results.
I intend to visit my GP next year for follow up tests(probably from quest diagnostics who have more extensive tests).
edit: Doing some researching the only information I can find for why T4 and TSH would be normal and T3 low is if zinc/selenium (which are required in the conversion of T4 to T3) are low. Looking at the hair mineral analysis both levels are fine and my diet is high in both nutreints since I eat plenty of meat, eggs, and nuts. I may try eating adrenal/thyroid glands and see if that produces any effect.March 11, 2014 at 4:48 pm #37366
I’m no expert but it looks like your low T3 and your Cortisol issues are whats driving down your testosterone. I would say and from what I’ve read in other posts is that getting T3 back into range would make all the difference.March 11, 2014 at 6:33 pm #37402
Thanks for a wonderful post Newstrength. I read the whole post and it looks like you have healed yourself simply by doing the below:
Diet + Exercise + Abstinence
There might be other factors but this looks like the main thing. This is consistent with Gwan’s advice.
How old are you now? and how long did it take for your erections to come back to normal?March 12, 2014 at 3:24 am #37509
you would benefit from some armour thyroidMarch 12, 2014 at 8:06 am #37576
Thanks, I don’t consider myself 100% yet, but on a scale of 0 to 100 I would say I’m a good 70% of the way there. It took 4+ months of abstaining (counting from when I started trying) for my erections to come back, their quality still fluctuates some depending on stress levels or sleep quality, but I always wake up with a decent erection. Some nights I have erections for virtually the whole time it seems (I may wake up a number of times and notice a strong erection). If I am thinking about sex I usually get one as well, or when I nap. My nocturnal emissions and prostatis have gone way down in the past 1-2 months too so that is a very nice improvement. I don’t really get those frustrating urges to ejaculate anymore.
Since I haven’t had sex since improving dramatically I haven’t been able to ‘test’ my progress in the field, but I feel pretty confident that I’ll do fine once I resume sexual activity (not really waiting for anything, just haven’t had time to chase tail ). I find my sex drive is much calmer and controlled now. Before I was in a very stimulated but exhausted state all the time.
edit: I’m in my early 20s
Thanks, but from what I’ve read it doesn’t seem to really “cure” low thyroid; just treat it. I’m not nearly as interested in treatment as cures at this point. Maybe some time down the road if I have not found any solution and things start getting worse it might be worth a try.
I think you’re right. I have been pretty sure that stress has been a big problem for me. I am getting better and managing it (deep belly breathing can do alot for you), but it’s not easy to retrain yourself to not trigger your stress mechanisms of your body. It’s like breaking a bad habit and takes time.March 12, 2014 at 12:51 pm #37674
I eat mostly meat, seafood, veggies, fruits, eggs, nuts. Search “paleolithic diet” in google.
One thing I think that is worth mentioning is that healing your digestion is as important as diet!
I recently read the following article on how poor digestion and low stomach acid can lead to a deficiency in zinc/magnesium and thus testosterone : [MOD EDIT: URL Removed]
I’ve started taking HCL to increase stomach acid, and while it’s early to give long term outlook, so far it seems to be beneficial.
I’ve also been trying maca, but don’t seem to notice any effect positive or negative. Since the taste is pleasant I’ll continue eating it until I run out of what I bought.March 12, 2014 at 8:24 pm #37812
You’re doing very nice and I’m happy for you.
Have you tried fasting? Very good for digestion and lung health. It really accelerates your healing rate.
Belly breathing is good to start with, but you should advance to using your whole lung capacity, that means expanding your ribcage to the fullest with diaphragm. You’ll get much more oxygen this way and breathing becomes much more slower and more even thus leading to deeper relaxation. In time and with your yoga practice this becomes automatic.
Oxygen is the ultimate nutrient. You can survive a long time without zinc and magnesium and all those, but without oxygen you’ll die in minutes.
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